An Unthinkable Situation
When my partner and I first met, I had no idea how difficult it would be for him to gain legal residency in the United States. Like most Americans, I'd never paid much attention to immigration issues, as they had very little effect on my life in Upstate New York. About two years before his student visa was to expire we decided to visit an attorney to get thing moving. Needless to say, we left that meeting scared and angry. U.S. immigration policy is geared toward reuniting families. Since my partner and I weren't spouses, by legal definition, we were excluded from consideration under the family category. The attorney informed us that there were some alternative possibilities, such as applying for asylum, but that it would be an uphill battle and there were no guarantees. My partner was born in Venezuela, which certainly doesn't treat it's homosexual population with dignity and respect, so we briefly considered this idea. Once we realized how difficult it would be to collect the evidence of persection required for a claim of asylum, we decided to keep looking. We just didn't want to bet our futures on anything less than a sure thing.

I immediately began researching U.S. immigration law and tried to gather as much information as I could. I was convinced that there had to be a way around the unthinkable... my partner getting on a plane with a one way ticket. I had been holding out hope that the landmark 'gay marriage' legal proceedings in Hawaii might be the answer. Unfortunately, I soon realized that regardless of what happened in Hawaii, the U.S. government had neutralized it's affect on the issue of same sex partner immigration. In 1996 the U.S. Congress passed and President Clinton signed the ridiculous Defense Of Marriage Act (DOMA). That Act changed the legal definition of marriage on the federal level to a union solely between a man and a woman. No matter what any state, such as Hawaii or Vermont, decided about same sex marriage, the federal government would not recognize it. Since immigration is the exclusive purview of the federal government, this avenue was permanently closed. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised... up until 1991, homosexuality was grounds for barring entry into the United States for any applicant.

We pursued some other ideas, but eventually realized that we would have to either move to Venezuela or to a third country that would allow us to immigrate together. The political situation in Venezuela was somewhat unstable, and while I was willing to move there, my partner did not want to return to that way of life unless we had no other alternative. After much soul searching we decided to look elsewhere.

Worldwide, only fourteen countries recognize gay and lesbian relationships for immigration purposes: Australia, Belgium, Canada, Denmark, Finland, France, Iceland, Israel, the Netherlands, Norway, South Africa, Sweden, New Zealand, and the United Kingdom. For us, Canada was a dream come true. It was both close to my family in Upstate New York and similar to the United States in many ways, so we figured that the transition would be easier. You can read all about our experiences with the immigration process in the Oh Canada section of this site.

We crossed the border from the United States to Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada in February 2002. It was an incredible experience and probably one of the most nerve wracking and happy occasions of my life. It didn't take us long to settle into our new lives in Toronto. It's a truly amazing city in a fantastic country that we're proud to call home.